As a hostess, what was one way that you aimed to foster connection within the guests who attended?

Mel: Facilitating conversation and cooking for up to ten people is no small feat! I think it's so important to accept help — being a good hostess does not mean doing everything yourself. If you're stressed and checked out, your guests will pick up on that energy and it might block the evening from flowing the way you hoped it would. From the start, I knew I needed support to ensure my goal of deep connection would happen. I asked a few of the girls to help me with various tasks, from making drinks to taking photos. I think guests love having something to do, and it gives me a chance to chat with them even though I'm in the kitchen and it makes my load lighter! To get the conversation flowing, I thought of one of my favorite tools, the Cultivating Conversations Card Deck, which could serve as a starting point to turn conversations from surface level to something a little more intimate. I had the idea to pull cards around a theme of connection, either to others or to oneself, and put a card at each place setting. Guests could enter, look at the questions, and seat themselves based on the card they were most drawn to answer. I was hoping that this would allow friends who didn't know each other a chance to sit next to someone new, rather than defaulting to their comfort zone.

We love how you set a question at each guest’s place setting. What role did this play in the gathering?

Mel: When dinner was served, I sat down with the women and explained that as we started our meal, each of us would have a turn to answer our question card. My table was set more formally than some of my other events, so I was hoping that by having prompts to start us off, it would ease some of the initial tension of sitting down to a plated dinner and keep the conversation flowing. I could have never imagined just how thoughtful and insightful all of their answers would be! 

“Everyone fully committed to digging in deep, and I even learned new things about women that I've been friends with for a long time. I saw lots of heads nodding in agreement — there's something so powerful about sharing and someone else saying me too!"

What was one moment in the night that made you tear up or gave you goosebumps knowing that your intention for the evening came to fruition?

Mel: I answered my card first in the spirit of leading the way with vulnerability. In letting the guests choose their cards first, I wasn't sure which one would be left over for me but it turned out to be perfect: "Where do you find the biggest sense of community?" I of course answered with "right here" — nights like these are so special to me and fulfill my desire for deep friendship and love. But even though it means a lot to me and I hope my gathering is meaningful to my guests, I am never sure if others are feeling or experiencing something the same way as I am. So I was beyond happy and grateful when one of my newer friends answered her card with something similar. "What are your ideal in person ways to connect with others?" to which she replied, "groups like these." Wow. Night, made. What a gift to share this evening with such a special group of women, strengthening our friendships.